Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Donald Trump Confirms He'll Partially Fund Construction of Death Star


NEW YORK: In an open letter penned to the Obama Administration in response to their rejection of a petition to construct a Death Star by 2016 a few days ago, Donald Trump announced that he will partially fund the $850,000,000,000,000,000 project.
Trump made headlines recently with his demands that Obama release his birth records and college transcripts, though his antics earned him a warning letter from NBC, the network that hosts his hit show, The Celebrity Apprentice.
The original petition called for the construction to commence immediately, citing the amount of jobs that the project would generate, as well as the potential for the US to achieve superiority in the space defense race. The Administration firmly rejected it, citing the ongoing deficit reduction efforts and the cost that it would take to build the Death Star, the lack of support for blowing up planets by the Administration, and the fatal flaw of the Death Star that makes the whole project unappealing for National Defense, as shown in theStar Wars saga.
In his letter, Trump said that, "Space superiority should be this country's number one priority. Until we reach that point, we open the doors for Communist countries like Russia and China to construct their own Death Stars and close off access to Outer Space by the West."
Trump also stated that, "I will personally fund $10,000,000 to get the project started. I will also donate $5,000,000 more after other private investors exceed this donation amount by 10 times. The rest of the project will be funded by other private donations and exploitation of weak, resource-rich countries."
In return, Trump says that he expects to receive a VIP suite near the command center of the ship, his own personal landing station, and full control of the only on-board TV network.

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